


Danger Signs

by 1000PaperCranes



Series: Stay Back 500 Feet [1]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Rescue Bots
Genre: Abuse, Accidental Voyeurism, Aliens are Clueless About Humans, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And None of the Characters Think It is, Assumptions, Be Warned All Ye Who Enter Here, Bruises, Bystander Effect, Choking, Domestic Violence, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Graphic But Not Lengthy, How Long has This Been Going On?, Male Victim, Manipulation, Mid-Canon, No Beta: We die like mne, Not Safe Sane and Consensual, Reporting Crimes, Sexual Violence, Stuttering, Triggers, What the Hell Happened to Kade?, better late than never, good cops, not bdsm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-01-15 21:17:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18507265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1000PaperCranes/pseuds/1000PaperCranes
Summary: And the sad truth that we don't always see them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If this doesn't read true, please let me know.
> 
> Also, HEED THE WARNINGS. This sucker is dark.

Kade kicked the old firetruck with a growl.  He’d been working on it since lunch.  It was now after dinner and Kade hadn’t even stopped to eat.  “Why won’t you turn over, you stupid hunk of junk!”  He kicked it again.  The metal flexed dangerously but didn’t dent.

“Well, that was just uncalled for, you big bully!”

Kade jerked as if stung, but otherwise ignored Blades.  The man pulled out his phone, staring at the device with an increasingly trepidatious expression.  Finally, when his face was unrecognizable, and his silence had the bots looking askance at each other, Kade dialed the phone.  Holding the device to his ear, Kade swallowed convulsively.

They all waited while it rang.  Kade’s eyes were unfocused, and if Heatwave didn’t know better, he’d think the man was about to cry.  A minute later, the indistinct sound of a female voice escaped the device.

“H-Hayley,” Kade gasped out.  “Can we take a r-raincheck?”  Kade’s voice was trembling.  “I can’t get the truck to start.”

He bit his lip hard.

“No!”  Kade held out his free hand as if to ward something off.  “No, no!  I promise.”  The hand was shaking.  “I’ve been working on it all afternoon to—”

Hayley must not have wanted to listen to Kade’s excuses.  Although, Kade wasn’t making excuses.  Come to think of it, Kade hardly ever made excuses for anything important.  Usually, it was for things the Chief described as ‘being an annoying older brother.’

“Hayley, please!” Kade begged, tears threatening to overrun his lashes.  “I can’t— I don’t— I’m _sorry_!  Hayley, _please_!”

If the stupid date was _that_ important…  “I’ll take you.”

Kade looked up at him so sharply Heatwave heard the man’s neck crack.  The human buckled, his face a mix of fear and pain.  No relief, no gratitude.  With an increasing urge to rescind the offer, Heatwave glared at his _partner_.

“V-voice test.  Auto-auto diagnostic on the bots.”  Kade chewed the chap from his lips.  “We can t-take H-Heatwave.  M-my D-Dad won’t m-m-m-mind.”  The stuttering was getting worse, rapidly.

Kade looked at his skin and clothes as Hayley answered.

“I’m f-f-filthy.  I n-need a shhower.”  That was true enough.  “Thirty m-minutes,” Kade agreed.  Seconds later he sunk to the floor.  His whole body visibly shaking.  Human romantic relationships appeared to be very stressful.

Carefully, Heatwave picked up his trembling partner. 

Kade waved him away, squirming.  “I’m fine.  I’m fine.  Put me down.”

“What: no thank you for bailing you out?”

Kade heard the question, but Heatwave could see that it hadn’t registered properly.

“I need a shower,” he answered, scrambling off Heatwave’s palm and disappearing into the living quarters.

“That was very strange,” Chase observed.

“Yeah,” Heatwave agreed, standing to his full height.  He looked out the high windows of the garage.  “I wonder why?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mind your triggers...

Kade returned to the garage, damp but scrubbed clean, twenty-two minutes after he left.  “Alright, let’s go,” he said, back to his brusk, impatient self.

Heatwave decided to let the lack of gratitude slide.  Kade wasn’t a very gracious person to begin with and something weird was going on.  “Where are we going?”

“To pick up Hayley, then to the drive-in.”  Kade didn’t seem excited.  Maybe there wasn’t anything good playing?  Kade usually loved movies.

The trip to Hayley’s was quiet.  Chin braced on his hand, Kade stared pensively out the window.  Heatwave had so many questions, but every time he started to ask one… he didn’t know how.  When they pulled up outside Hayley’s place, Kade trotted to the front door, still without thanking Heatwave.

Hayley’s little house was painted peony pink and had yellow shutters.  The whole thing clashed terribly with Kade’s copper hair.  The man folded his hands behind his back, waiting quietly on the porch.

Heatwave grew bored very quickly.  Then became worried.  Then radioed Kade.  “Is something wrong, Hotshot?  Should we go look for her?”

“No, everything’s fine.”

Well, that was… unlikely.  Hayley knew they were coming.  Kade was usually on time for his dates, barring an emergency.  They’d been waiting out here for nearly twenty minutes.  And why did Kade sound so _resigned_?  When the door opened almost ten minutes later, Kade hugged Hayley.  By the time they reached Heatwave, Kade was enthusing over the movie in typical fashion.

Well, at least things were back to normal.

They arrived at the movie halfway through the previews, but that was fine by Heatwave.

“Popcorn?” Kade suggested.  The man looked ravenous, but when Hayley shrugged and declined, he simply accepted her decision.  The couple settled down to watch Maven Danger: Time Cowboy.  Hayley arranged Kade like her personal cushion, despite Heatwave’s upholstery being perfectly comfortable.  They stayed still and quiet for the entire first act, but when Maven Danger shot the dress off the leading lady, Hayley scoffed.

“That’s ridiculous.”

Kade smiled forgivingly, still engrossed in the film.  “Yeah, but can you imagine if he _could_?”

Hayley sat up, turning sharply toward Kade.  “You know women don’t like that kind of thing, right?”

Kade startled, looking at his girlfriend with wide eyes.  “Of course.”  She straddled his lap and Kade ran his hands up her hips.  “I’d much rather have someone like me for my personality than my marksmanship.”

Three guesses which was more likely.

Hayley giggled, pressing her mouth to Kade’s.  They stayed like that for several moments.  When Hayley’s hands slid over Kade’s collar, he turned his head, breaking the contact between their faces.  He was panting and flushed, but Heatwave had no idea why.  It wasn’t like the man had been doing anything strenuous.

When Hayley tried to lean back in, Kade’s arms tensed, holding her at bay, even though his grip on her waist was loose.  “I– I know it’s stupid, but can we just… finish the movie?”

Hayley made a disgruntled noise, but turned in his lap, apparently intending to sit on him for the remainder of the feature.  Or until Maven Danger rode two horses at the same time.

“How can you stand this?” she demanded of Kade.

He smiled at her.  “Because it’s fun?  Action movies aren’t always… plausible.”  It took him a second, but it was worth it to see Kade produce an intelligent word.  He summed up his feelings with a shrug.

“C’mon, let’s have some fun.  Kiss me, big boy.”  Hayley pulled Kade’s mouth to hers again.  The ‘kiss’ didn’t last long.

Kade rotated his girlfriend back towards the screen.  “Movies are fun,” he told her lightly, but Hayley wasn’t having it.  She knelt up again, straddling his lap with an air of finality.

“This movie isn’t.”  Hayley tangled her fingers in red hair, pulling Kade’s head to the side.  She bent over his neck.

Kade’s gaze landed on Heatwave’s display, like he was concerned about his partner.  Heatwave flashed into existence, acknowledging the look before disappearing again.  “Please, Hayley.  Can we just… take it easy tonight?”  She pulled his head a little farther to the side.  “Ah!” the sound wasn’t too loud, but it was an oddly sharp tone for Kade to use around Hayley.  His words remained soft and steady.  “Don’t bite me.  Ow.  Please don’t bite me.”

“It’s like you don’t find me attractive anymore,” Hayley accused, straightening up and pushing her long blonde hair out of her face.  “Don’t you love me, Kade?”

“Of course, I do,” Kade guaranteed immediately, smiling indulgently at her.

“Then what’s the problem?”  Indignancy covered the woman in a near visible shroud.  “Is there someone else?” Hayley dug her fingernails into Kade’s shoulders.

The man grimaced despite the layer of blue Nomex protecting his skin and the toughness of a fireman’s musculature.  Making no attempt to pull her hands away, Kade squirmed beneath Hayley.  “There’s no one else, Hayley.  I wouldn’t do that.”

Except there was someone else.  There was Heatwave.  Hayley didn’t know they weren’t alone, and Kade couldn’t tell her.  Clearly, whatever they were doing was intended to be private.

“Then what’s the problem?”  Heatwave had never heard Hayley sound so purely annoyed before.

Kade swallowed, looking up at her, then clenched his eyes again when she dug her fingers in tighter.  “We’re at a drive-in, Hayley,” he reminded her.  “Having sex in public is illegal.”

“Never bothered you before.”  Heatwave wouldn’t doubt that, except Kade didn’t answer.  “We’re not the only ones.”  When Hayley let go to point, Kade sucked in a relieved breath.

He rolled his head to see the car on Heatwave’s left.  The angle looked awkward from the slouch he’d worked himself into.  “I can see that,” he agreed.  “Technically, I’m supposed to call my Dad to– to arrest them.”  He looked up at Hayley, pleadingly.  “Can’t we just forget about it?”

Heatwave was convinced that Kade meant himself and Hayley as much as he meant the topless teenagers next to them.

Apparently, Hayley did not share that opinion.  “Live and let live,” she said in agreeable tone.  She pulled Kade’s shirt up to his armpits.

“Please, don’t.”  She let go of his shirt, instead tackling the button on his jeans.  “Hayley, stop.”  Hayley kissed him forcefully before he even finished the words, pulling off some small garment from beneath her miniscule skirt.  “C’mon, Hayley, not here.”

Hayley’s body language changed entirely.  Her hands closed over Kade’s throat.

Gray eyes going impossibly wide, Kade’s skin went the color of concrete.  “Please, Hayley, anything but that.”  He tried to shrink away from her.  “Please, don’t do this.  I love you,” he begged, sounding progressively more congested.

Heatwave felt cold and staticky.  Was this some sort of unsettling human ritual?  Hayley was a very nice human, she would never just ignore someone like that, even someone she didn’t like, and she loved Kade.

Kade’s voice went thin and strange as the words trickled to a stop.  “Please don’t hurt m–”  Teeth bared in an expression Heatwave associated with pain, Kade wriggled lower in the seat.

“Sit up,” Hayley ordered.  Kade pushed himself back into proper posture.  He heaved in great lungfuls of air when Hayley let go of his neck.  “ _Don’t move_.”

“Please, stop,” Kade rasped, immediately begging again.  “Please, Hayley, I don’t like this.”  She pulled Kade’s pants and shorts to his knees, before resettling herself.  “I’ll do whatever you want just don’t—”  One hand returned to his neck.  Kade wheezed, “No.”

Hayley gripped an oddly shaped bit of flesh from Kade’s lap.  She held it against the join of her legs then sunk down, adding her now free hand to Kade’s neck.  She raised herself, and lowered herself, over and over, slowly gaining speed.  How did Kade’s flesh disappear into her body?  Weren’t humans _solid_?

Kade’s face quickly turned red.  His mouth was wide open, strange clicking noises occasionally falling out.  When Heatwave noticed there were tears dripping down his partner’s face, he nearly revealed himself.  But _surely_ if Kade didn’t want… whatever this was, he wouldn’t allow it to happen.

Hayley was half his size.  Heatwave had personally seen Kade fight a man that was more than a handswith bigger than the firefighter in every direction.  The Chief had referred to the incident as a ‘real knock-down drag-out’ as he’d cuffed the other man for hitting his wife.  Kade had simply stood up and wiped the blood from his nose on the back of his wrist.  When the woman, a solid cube larger than Hayley, had jumped on the Chief’s back, Kade had wrenched her away without difficulty, dumping her unceremoniously in the grass.

If Kade wanted to move Hayley, he absolutely could.  Heatwave had seen the man carry his girlfriend on several occasions.  He was obviously _letting_ her do this, whatever it was.  Even if he said he hated it.

“Ahh!” Kade’s back arched sharply when Hayley suddenly pulled her hands away from his neck.  His body jerked erratically for several seconds.  Hayley moaned, pressing her hands to the roof of Heatwave’s cab and leaning her head back over his steering wheel.  They both panted hard, Hayley grinning, Kade crying harder as he wheezed for breath and coughed.

Several minutes later, Hayley crawled off Kade.  She flopped into the passenger seat.  “Oh look; Maven caught the train robbers.”

Kade glanced up at the movie.  “Uh huh.”  He looked down, setting about putting his clothes back together with badly shaking hands.  Kade’s skin was oddly flushed, a strange contrast to Hayley, whom while sweaty, was rapidly returning to normal.

The movie ended just minutes later.  Almost before the credits began, Kade’s fingers closed like a vice on Heatwave’s steering wheel.  He pressed one finger to the ignition switch and Heatwave made a show of ‘starting up’.  They joined the queue to leave the drive-in without a word.

“What do you want to do now?” Hayley practically chirped as they turned onto the road.

Kade’s red-rimmed eyes flicked with panic, his mouth falling open to respond, but not finding words. 

Heatwave made a reckless decision.  “Incoming transmission,” he droned, pushing his intonation as high as it could go.  Kade looked at the display with absolute disbelief.  “Representative from Griffin Rock Fire Department required for mandatory emergency drill.”  Heatwave wracked his processor for a place where Kade might have a drill.  Or the name of _any other town_.  “Location: Salt Bay Fire Department.”  It was all a lie, but it sounded official.

“Well, that’s inconvenient,” Hayley griped.  “But we can still do something.”

Kade shook his head slowly.  “I need to get up really early for this.  I’m sorry, Hayley.”  Why in the world was Kade apologizing for, well, _anything_ right now?  He didn’t know that Heatwave had made the whole thing up.  “Call is at six am in Salt Bay.  It takes me nearly an hour to get there and it’s almost midnight.  I n-need to go home.”

“I’ll come with you,” Hayley offered, sounding disproportionately magnanimous.

Looking worried, Kade shook his head.  “I worked the night shift last night, Hayley.  I– I need to sleep.”  Tentatively, he added, “ _Just_ sleep.”

Hayley jumped straight to scandalized.  “What kind of person do you think I am?”

Kade looked at her, brows pinched imploringly.  “A wound up one.”  He deftly mimed steering onto Hayley’s street when Heatwave turned.  “It’s already going to be a short night.  I don’t have time to unwind.  _I’m sorry_ , Hayley.”  They stopped in front of her house.  “It’s n-not that I don’t want to spend tonight with you, it’s just that I d-don’t want to spend tomorrow in the hospital.”

Exactly _what_ did human firefighters do during drills?

Hayley sighed, looking put upon as she opened the passenger door.  “Alright, but you need to start making time for me, Kade.”  Kade escorted her to the house, kissing her one more time.  She slammed the door in his face.

As soon as Kade slumped over Heatwave’s steering wheel, the firebot took off for home.  “You know—”

“Don’t tell me,” Kade cut him off, speaking to the steering wheel.  Plausible deniability.  Probably.  Heatwave wouldn’t be surprised if the idiot actually took the ferry to Salt Bay tomorrow.  “I have to get up at dawn.  Wake me when we get there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authenticity is a concern, insight is helpful.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not as bad as the last chapter...

When they got there, Kade stopped on his way to the living quarters to quaff a bottle of water, inadvertently showing off the discolorations blooming on his neck.  Heatwave had _seen_ those marks before, faint splotches that came and went.  He’d never really bothered to wonder about them, assuming they were the same as ‘freckles’ which appeared and disappeared on Kade according to some bizarre organic logic.  Heatwave watched his human partner turn in for the night and suddenly couldn’t contain his curiosity.

“Boulder?” Heatwave gently roused the green bot from recharge.

“Hmm?  What is it?  Heatwave?  Is there an emergency?”  Boulder transformed, rubbing the feeling back into his tracks.  “I thought Dani and Blades had night duty?”

“They do.”  Heatwave sat down.  “I just got back from Kade’s date.”

“Oh?”

“I have a few questions.”  Heatwave felt stupid.  Why would Boulder know about human romance?  Graham _barely_ dated, if you could even call it that.

Boulder looked shrewdly at him.  “What happened?”

“I have no idea.”  Heatwave thought about the best way to go about this.  “Did you know humans… tesselate?”  Boulder gave him a skeptical look.  “Partially.”

“You mean like… mating?” Boulder asked, optics cycling wide with surprise.  “Many Earth species reproduce by an interlocking coupling method.  Some of them are truly fascinating.”  Of course: Boulder watched documentaries about _anything_ , which explained how the subject of mating came up with Graham and not Kade.  “I’m kind of surprised.”

“Why?”

“Graham said it’s intensely personal between humans.  That’s why there aren’t any documentaries about it.  Though he did mention something called ‘pornography’, which he said is extraordinarily inaccurate.”  Boulder shrugged.  “Why?”

“Mating, huh.”  Kade _had_ asked for privacy.  Most organic species ‘mated’ though Heatwave was only marginally familiar with the concept.  Somehow, the mated organics exchanged CNA to produce offspring.  It was a distant memory of an interstellar mission briefing.  “Does that mean Kade and Hayley are going to reproduce?”

“Uh…”  Boulder glanced at Blades as he joined their conversation.  “Heatwave, were you _there_?”

Heatwave nodded, unsure of Boulder’s hesitation.

“I owe Dani a hundred loop-de-loops,” Blades groaned.

“Why is that?” Chase asked, woken by the nearby conversation.

“Dani said that only Kade would be disgusting enough to have sex in a bot like a regular car.”  He sighed, pouting hard.  “I said even Kade’s not that rude.”

Heatwave considered the events of the night.  Disgusting?  Well, not Kade, though if his own growing discomfort was any indicator, maybe Hayley.  “It sure smelled vile.”

“Um… How close were you?”  Heatwave just stared back at Boulder for an answer.  Boulder hissed sympathetically.

Heatwave shook his head.  “It was… just strange.”  Thinking hard, Heatwave absently allowed Blades to run soothing digits over his forearm.  “Kade wanted nothing to do with it, actually.”

Boulder and Chase went eerily still.

“That’s weird,” Blades mused.  “Dani said it was a blast.  And that she’d show me if it wouldn’t be so… creepy.”  Heatwave had definitely felt creepy.  “That’s where the bet came from.”

“Maybe it’s a female thing?” Heatwave posited.  “Hayley was all about it.”

Chase took Heatwave’s free hand in both of his own, pulling his leader to look at him directly.  “Heatwave?”  The firebot felt a chill in the pit of his spark chamber.  Chase had an encyclopedic knowledge of human crimes and looked serious as a felony.  “At any time, did Kade refuse to participate?”

 _Please, don’t.  Please, stop.  Don’t do this.  Anything but that._   The words tumbled through Heatwave’s mind.  _Primus_ , **_no_**.  “He never agreed.”  _Don’t hurt me_.  Heatwave met Chase’s optics desperately.  “I thought… Why didn’t he stop her?”  Kade had been plainly terrified.

And Heatwave could have helped him.

Chase pulled him closer, allowing Heatwave to hide his optics in shame against the police bot’s shoulder.  Blades’ hand rubbed over Heatwave’s back, trying to soothe.  Nothing would be comfort enough.

“Abuse is not unknown on Cybertron,” Chase said, as if that should be reassuring.  “The victims are controlled psychologically, more than physically.”

“Humans are the same way,” Blades added.  “Maybe worse.  We flew a man from Belfast back to the mainland after his girlfriend beat him unconscious.”  Heatwave turned his head against Chase’s shoulder to look at Blades.  The helicopter appeared plagued.  “Dani said he didn’t defend himself because he was afraid of being arrested for attacking her.”

That didn’t make any sense, but it did begin to explain why Kade just… let himself be hurt.  He loved Hayley and he would never risk harming her.  And it wouldn’t matter if he was twice her size, if he believed he would be punished for defending himself.

“We must tell the Chief,” Chase decreed.  He was probably right, but Heatwave made no effort to move.

“Heatwave?” Boulder asked cautiously.  If _Boulder_ wasn’t optimistic…  “How long has this been going on?”

Tonight, he almost said, but the pale blooms of darkness on Kade’s neck flashed behind Heatwave’s optics.  They’d been coming and going for months.  Heatwave shuffled closer to Chase, needing support to admit the truth.  Was this how Kade felt?  Except he was totally alone with the knowledge.  “Months,” Heatwave whispered.  “She’s been hurting him for months… _I didn’t know_.”

“No one did,” Blades and Boulder reassured simultaneously.

“We must tell the Chief,” Chase reiterated. 

Preferably before Kade took the ferry all the way to Salt Bay for nothing.  Usually, Heatwave would revel in such a prank, but not tonight.

Chase continued, “I do not believe this can wait until morning.”

Heatwave pressed himself even closer to the police bot, scuffing their red and blue finishes together.  He didn’t want to deal with any of this right now.

“I’ll go get him,” Boulder offered, ducking outside to tap on Charlie Burns’ bedroom window.

Heatwave clung guiltily to Chase.  What had he done?  What had allowed to happen _in his own **cab**_?


	4. Chapter 4

In the gray light of predawn, Charlie Burns hunched over his coffee cup, waiting for Kade to wake up.  Dani came down from the command center, looking only half as exhausted.

“Dad?  What are you doing up?”  Dani pulled a handful of eggs from the refrigerator. 

“Hayley raped Kade last night.”

The eggs smashed on the floor.  “What?” Dani asked faintly.

“She’s been choking him for months.”

Dani sat down where she stood, oblivious to the slick of egg beneath her thigh.  “What?”  She had seen the bruises and bites, but when Kade had made no real effort to hide them, Dani had assumed her brother had a kink.

“Heatwave assumed begging and crying was a ritual.”

“What?”  How could Heatwave think Kade would do that, that _anyone_ would do that?  Dani had never imagined her brother having sex, or wanted to, but now that she was, she could only see him laughing.  She pushed aside the unwanted images of her big brother screaming in silent pain.  She knew that face, it had been replayed over and over again on the news after he fell off the mill.

“I don’t think Heatwave knew what sex was until today.”

Obviously not.  Dani looked at the mess of yolk and white on her hand.  The texture… She felt suddenly sick.  Scrambling for the trashcan, she nearly missed her father’s next words.

“I never thought it would be _Kade_.”

Dani heaved, her midnight snack of peanut butter and pistachio toast making a vengeful reappearance.  Kade was so _strong_ , not at all easy to overpower.  But Dani could only imagine him holding his hands away as Hayley nearly killed him.  Vomiting again, Dani started to cry.  If Kade wouldn’t use physical force against his sister, there was _no way_ he would risk leaving a mark on _Hayley_.  Even if it was to just simply _set her aside_.

Wiping her mouth only spread raw egg on Dani’s face.  She retched again.  Not looking at her father, Dani stood.  She needed a shower, _right now_. 

For the first time in her life, Dani fled.

 

* * *

 

Charlie watched Dani escape down the hallway, gaze so intent on the floor she didn’t realize when she ran into Kade.  The redhead turned when his sister bounced off him, watching her until she disappeared up the stairs at the end of the hall.  He turned back to the kitchen with a quizzical expression, jerking one thumb over his shoulder as if to ask, ‘what’s with her?’  When Charlie didn’t answer, Kade just shrugged.

Charlie stared silently at his son as he made toast and stepped around the egg on the floor like it was any other day.  Realizing that for Kade this _was_ like any other day, Charlie swallowed convulsively.  He refused to scream, or cry, or vomit. 

Each little toothmark in the crescent on Kade’s trapezius was exactly the color of a mangosteen.  As he stared, Charlie could make out another arch, pale gray as it faded.  Charlie swallowed back against a rise of coffee and bile when Kade turned, the nebulous pink and brown bruises that often hung around on Kade’s neck were darker and coalesced into distinct finger shapes on one side.  Either Kade had fought more than normal, or Hayley had lost control.  Or both.

Although, if Heatwave’s accounting was accurate, Charlie strongly suspected Kade didn’t usually resist, _at **all**_.  Even faced with the evidence, Charlie’s brain just could not accept the image of the strong, capable, young man before him submitting through fear.  Charlie _tried_ to push away the jangling discord that came from attempting to view his oldest son through the lens of victim but couldn’t.

He couldn’t do this.

Charlie stood and left the kitchen without saying a word of his planned intervention.  He left Kade groggily spreading blueberry jam on an English muffin.


	5. Chapter 5

Too embarrassed by last night’s events for words, Kade stepped onto the fire escape in the predawn light.  It would take him a stupidly long time to walk to the ferry, but it was better than the alternative.  Kade pushed the hair out his face; he hadn’t bothered to fix it this morning.  It just hadn’t seemed worth it with the walk and the ferry ride ahead of him.

As Kade walked, he wondered about what he would do with his day.  He knew full well that there was no drill.  Even if he hadn’t recognized his partners voice, that just wasn’t how it worked.  It had been enough to fool Hayley, though.  Kade figured he’d make tonight’s test page his curfew; he _was_ leaving Griffin Rock without an active firefighter.

Stepping onto the doc, Kade contemplated borrowing someone’s phone to call Wendy.  What Hayley didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.  He wanted to spend this day _not_ thinking about sex.  Wendy would feed him, and slagging _not ask_.  He loved that girl… and he wasn’t sure what bothered Hayley so much about a woman who honestly believed that the most unattractive thing about an attractive man was his current relationship.  Hell, Kade could sleep naked in Wendy’s bed and nothing would happen.

Then again, maybe it was Kade.  He wasn’t exactly known for his relationship skills.  Maybe he just had to try harder to prove that he was committed.  Which meant not playing hooky with Glacier Beach’s resident Amazonian firewoman.  Sitting down next to a scupper, Kade listened to the waves and watched the sun rise as he considered hopping the seven o’clock to Spray Isle.

“Kade?”  Someone was shaking him.  “Lad, are y’ gettin’ off or should I just take y’ home?”  He must have fallen asleep.

Kade smiled gratefully as he stood up.  “Thanks, Captain Shaw.  I’ll see you later.”

“Oi, what happened to yer neck?”  Shaw stepped closer for a better look.

Kade leaned back, covering the mark with his hand in a way that was not remotely subtle.  “Seatbelt?” Kade suggested, hoping Shaw would go for the easy answer.

“The way you drive, I’m not surprised.”  Shaw waved him away.  “I’ll see y’ tonight.”

“Right, thanks.” Kade didn’t sprint off the ferry, but it was a near thing.  He looked around, once again wondering what to do with himself.  As the crowd thinned, a policeman approached, looking decidedly interested in Kade.  What could he possibly have done?

“Kade Burns?” the man asked, offering his hand.

“What can I do for you, officer?”  Kade shook hands.

“Alan Winn.  Your father called.  I’m going to need you to come with me.”

“What did I do?”  Kade tried to pull back the hand that Winn was still causally holding.

Winn used the grip to coax Kade’s bruised neck into the sunlight.  Winn’s look was sharp and knowing.  “Domestic Violence is a very serious offense, Lieutenant.  I’d hate to see one of my firemen suffer, I don’t see why you should be any different.”

Domestic Violence?  All thoughts of diverting attention from his injuries fled Kade’s mind.  Suffering?  Kade looked down at the hand still firmly gripping his own.  Winn’s tawny skin was marked with old cigarette burns.

“Yeah,” Winn said casually, “Me too.”

Kade looked back to the man’s black eyes.  Any good police officer was as tricky as they came, but there was nothing but open sincerity on Alan Winn’s face.  Suddenly, Kade found himself sinking to the ground.  He fingered the bruises on his neck, testing the severity of them for the first time in… he couldn’t remember. 

Domestic Violence?

“I never hurt her,” he found himself saying, “I swear.”

“Never said you did.”  Winn sat down in the dirt, still holding Kade’s hand.  Kade watched the dust stain Winn’s crisp morning uniform.  What was he doing?  What was Kade doing?  What was going on?  Winn’s hand was warm and calloused, but his grip was forgiving.

Domestic Violence?

“Can you tell me about last night?” Winn asked after well over five minutes of silence. 

Kade opened his mouth but felt as if his throat was closing on itself, trapping words he couldn’t find.

Winn’s professionally curious expression didn’t change.  “Can you tell me about the first time?”

The first time?  “I wanted to try it,” Kade said, the words tumbling out with surprising ease.  “Someone told me that a little oxygen restriction could be a real kicker.  I thought it would be fun, no muss no fuss no pain, we just had to be careful.  Really careful.”  Kade nearly swallowed his tongue, a filmy memory gaining a foothold on his consciousness.  “Actually…”

He had been ridiculously tired the night after his father had been trapped in the mine.  None of them had slept the night before, and as the oldest, highest ranking, uninjured member of the team, Kade had volunteered to take the dayshift after they’d found Dad the next morning.  Twelve hours later, Kade had inhaled his dinner and wanted nothing more than to cuddle up with someone.  He’d called Hayley, of course, his girlfriend; there wasn’t anyone else to consider.  He had gotten completely lost in the sound of her voice as she drove them to her place, the words not registering with his conscious mind any more than the passing trees.  “Hayley told me that.”  He’s sure he fell asleep the moment he was horizontal, but was it their next date? 

“She was surprisingly confident about it, and the next thing I remember, I couldn’t breathe.  At all.  Scared the crap out of me.  I didn’t know how to tell her to stop.  The only things I could think to do would have hurt her.”  Kade looked away with a shrug.  “So, I didn’t move.”

Winn hummed sagely.  Kade looked at their still joined hands, then up at the man’s face.  “Good choice.”

Kade blinked at him, a peaceful numbness settling over his body.  A minute passed and then the entire story of his relationship with Hayley fell out of his mouth.  It was tied up in knots and missing pieces, but Winn never interrupted.  He didn’t clarify, he just let Kade talk himself dry.

“So,” Winn said when Kade was finally out of words.  He stood up, helping Kade to his feet with the hand he still gently held.  “There’s an ambulance waiting through there.”  Winn pointed his thumb at the path behind himself.  Kade flexed his suddenly lonely hand, shoving it into his pocket to trap the warmth.  “They’ll check that out,” he indicated the mark on Kade’s neck, “and give us a ride to the station.  Then we can sort this all out.  Sound like a plan?”

It was a plan.  And the choice seemed to be genuinely Kade’s.  He didn’t have a better idea.  Nodding, Kade followed Officer Alan Winn through the narrow band of woods between the docks and the parking lot.  Kade honestly didn’t know what he was doing, but for the first time he felt like there might be something else.  Something beyond just living, an option, an _opportunity_ , and he was going to take it.

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know... I've got two others going. But I was feeling hurt, so I hurt Kade. Terrible of me, isn't it? This one is complete though. And no, I was not assaulted in the last two weeks. Hostile work environment bingo, anyone?
> 
> Please leave constructive criticism. I feel it is a personal shortcoming to misrepresent the terrible traumas that so many of us endure.


End file.
